I DON’T WANT YOUR FEEDBACK
“I don’t want to receive feedback from you in this moment” – Have you ever heard those words or something similar just before you were about to launch into giving someone feedback? If you have – what did you do?
I have, and I expressed these words myself today. I honestly was not in the mood or right frame of mind to listen to anything anyone would or could have said to me. And you know what – It’s okay to say “I’m not available to receive feedback in this moment.” It doesn’t make you less ‘conscious’ just because you are not constantly open for feedback. It’s more honest to share your truth than to lie to yourself or others.
Too often I see people being given feedback even when their body language is clearly screaming I’m not listening- meaning – I’m not open, willing, or committed to receiving feedback. However, the person giving the feedback doesn’t care… they just want to give you feedback… like it or not here it comes.
No big surprises, why so many people feel uncomfortable and build up fear when giving or receiving feedback.
What was going on for me today? I was having a conversation with my partner. I was angry because I believed I was not being heard or understood. I was also hungry and stuck in a persona that truly believed I was right which made her very, very ‘wrong’ :))
I was not open to listen to anything or to participate in a playful exercise that might have helped me shift the mini drama I was causing. Thankfully I knew how best to take care of myself in the situation – I like to go for a short walk, clear my head, enjoy the moment without talking. Give myself the time and space to get curious about what it was that kept me locked or hooked into the issue vs. being in relationship with my partner.
When I feel really hooked or view the world through a right / wrong polarity – I know there is something big for me to learn. If I had agreed to receive her feedback I would not have listened and I would have missed out on her insightful feedback, which I was able and willing to receiving a little later on in the day.
If you’re willing, next time someone asks – are you open to receive feedback? Take a minute or two to check-in before responding. If you’re not available mentally or physically then share that with them and set up a time when you would be open to listen. I guarantee if you do this simple exercise you will increase your self-awareness and experience less fear around receiving and giving feedback.